Based on an interview with Louise Pubols, Senior Curator of History at the Oakland Museum of California, this weekly column narrates the history of California through the personal story of someone who once moved to this area seeking new opportunities, just like we did. – Diana Gadaldi, international spouse of a postdoc at UC Berkeley

 2. The arrival of the Spanish (sequel of episode 1. The Ohlone People)

The second episode of Coming to California tells about how the Spaniards arrived in this area and, in particular, how they established what is today the city of Monterey.

The Spaniards ventured as far as present-day California driven by the belief that the west coast of the new-found continent was the home of an advanced and wealthy civilization. Moreover, they hoped to find access to the famous Northwest Passage, a sea route through the Arctic Ocean that would provide a much shorter way to the Indies. When in 1542 the explorer Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo first sailed from what is today San Diego to Point Reyes and found nothing of what he had expected, he sailed back and abandoned his enterprise.

Sixty years later, the Spanish conquistador Sebastián Vizcaíno explored the coastline north of San Diego until he found a bay that in his opinion lent itself to agriculture. He named the place after the viceroy who approved his expedition, the Count of Monte Rey. Nevertheless, this area was too far from the first established Spanish missions in Baja (“lower”) California to enable a permanent settlement. For this reason, Monterey and its surroundings remained mainly unexplored for almost another two hundred years.

As soon as the Mission San Diego de Alcala was established in 1769, the Spaniards could start settling the territory of Alta (“upper”) California. On the 14th of July, with Sebastián Vizcaíno’s travel record as their only reference, a land expedition led by Don Gaspar de Portolà and Father Juan Crespi set off northwards in search of Monterey. Not recognizing the bay from Vizcaíno’s description, they traveled in a circle for several months ending up near the Carmel River, just south of the actual Monterey Peninsula. Completely unaware that they had reached their destination, the expedition finally decided to return to San Diego. Before departing, they erected a large wooden cross on the shore near the southeast side of Monterey Bay, as evidence of their passage.

In the spring of 1770, once aware of their earlier navigational errors, Portolà and Crespi decided to  try again. After just one month of travel, they located Monterey Bay and the cross they had erected six months earlier. But something unexpected had happened: the cross was surrounded by arrows stuck in the ground and covered by strings of dry fish. At its base, someone had placed a pile of mussels. The Spaniards soon realized that the local people had found the cross and—without having ever seen one before—identified it as a spiritual object and brought offerings just like they did with their own religious symbols.

The “Portolà Cross” installation in the OMCA’s Gallery of California History. Photo by Terry Lorant.

According to Louise Pubols, OMCA’s Senior Curator of History, what’s most interesting about the first contact between the Spanish explorers and the Native people of Monterey is that there was no spoken language involved; just a symbol, namely a cross. In the gallery section entitled “Spaniards Claim This Land,” OMCA features an installation representing this particular historical event consisting of a prop of the so-called “Portolà Cross” and some relics from the time of the missions.

The history behind the establishment of the Presidio and Mission of San Carlos de Borromeo de Monterey, which took place on the 3rd of June, 1770—just a few days after the Spaniards found the cross—is so fascinating to me because it exemplifies the age-old and inexorable process of hybridization that occurs each time people from different cultures cross each other’s path.

Other sources for this article were:

The Monterey Peninsula Toy Box

City-Data.com

In the next episode: Being a miner’s wife in the time of the Gold Rush.

Diana Gadaldi is an international spouse of a postdoc at UC Berkeley. Since her professional background is in the arts, she decided to conduct an interview with Louise Pubols, Senior Curator of History at the Oakland Museum of California.

Louise Pubols, Senior Curator of History at the Oakland Museum of California since 2008. Photo by Abigail Huller

On April 3th, 2013, I had the opportunity to visit the Oakland Museum of California (OMCA) and the honor to interview Louise Pubols, Senior Curator of History, and René de Guzman, Senior Curator of Art. While my article on the Gallery of California Art is still in progress, the meeting with curator Louise Pubols already resulted in an essay in six parts, as it was a novel in six episodes. From today on, and during the next 5 weeks, I’ll be pleasured to tell you the history of the gorgeous state we’re temporarily living in–California–each time through the unique, exciting story of someone who once moved to this area seeking new opportunities, just like we did.

At OMCA, visitors are used to look at California’s social, artistic and environmental heritage from an ever-changing and many-sided perspective, that is, through the eyes of the people who came here over time, from the Native Americans to nowadays’ immigrants, expats, and globe trotters. This curatorial approach to history documentation and presentation was so groundbreaking to me that I decided to adopt it as a framework for my essay. The way I’ll tell you about California history will be telling you about the transition story of its ever coming and going visitors, and how they finally integrated in the local social and cultural environment.

Let’s start by those who first lived in California, before all the other people came…

 1. The Ohlone People

According to most archeologists, the Ohlone people arrived in present-day California about 1,500 years ago. These Native American people inhabited the area along the coast from the San Francisco Bay through the Monterey Bay to the lower Salinas Valley. They lived by hunting, fishing, and gathering.

OMCA Basket by Linda Yamane.
Photo by Linda Yamane

What distinguished the Ohlone from all the other peoples who lived in Northern America at that time was their unique and sophisticated basket-weaving tradition. Made out of sedge, a base material that was very abundant in this area, these baskets had such a fine weave that they could be used even for transporting water and cooking. Unfortunately, very few of them have survived to our day, due to the impact of the missionaries and of the Ohlone tradition of burning the possessions of the deceased. While most of the remaining pieces are preserved in European museums, OMCA today displays a contemporary and original Ohlone woven basket made by Linda Yamane, an acclaimed artist and living descendant of the Rumsien Ohlone, the Ohlone people who inhabited what is today the Monterey Bay Area.

“What’s most exciting for me is knowing that when I’m gone, this basket will live on and represent our people in a truly beautiful way.” – Linda Yamane, Rumsien Ohlone. Photo by Tim Thomas

Linda Yamane spent over 20 years of her life studying the history of her ancestors and researching the few remaining Ohlone baskets. The colorful and highly decorated basket that she made for OMCA most likely resembles the kind of basket that was used during ritual ceremonies rather than a common storage container. This fully handcrafted artwork is made from 20,000 stitches, several thousand feathers, and 1,200 Olivella shell beads. It took her about two years to prepare the materials and to create it. Today, this basket is featured in OMCA’s first section, called “Before The Other People Came”, which highlights the history of California’s Native peoples before the Spanish arrival in the 16th century. Beside other ancient and contemporary objects, the collection includes video interviews with contemporary Native Californians, just like Linda Yamane, whose oral accounts were the primary source of information and inspiration for this section.

Being involved in this continuous dialog between the past and the present–which reveals OMCA’s recognition for human sensitivity and intuition, rather than only for hard historical evidence–was for me a unique experience and a very exciting way to learn more about what is probably the most mysterious period of California history.

In the next episode: The arrival of the Spanish and the unusual encounter of the European and the Native American civilization on the southeast shore of the Monterey Bay.

Patricia is an international spouse from Portugal who is currently living in Berkeley while her husband does a post-doc at UC Berkeley. In this interview, Patricia talks about getting a job and describes what it has been like for her to work for an American company.

Briefly describe who you are, where you’re from, why you’re here and for how long, and what your professional background was before you came to the U.S.

I’m Patricia from Portugal and I’ve been living in Berkeley for 1 year and 7 months. Before I lived and worked in Barcelona for a licensing company for over 3 years in the Product Development Department. I decided to move to USA together with my husband when he got the chance to do his post-doc at UC Berkeley. We both thought it was a great opportunity in a great university we couldn’t say no. At the same time it was a tough decision to leave all friends and family behind but when you travel together with someone you love everything is just easier. We initially came for 1 year and decided to take advantage of everything to make this experience very valuable for both of us.

Where are you working, what does the organization do, and what is your current position? How long have you been there?

I am currently working as Project Marketing Manager at a confectionary company in the Bay Area. I’ve been there for a year and a half and fortunately I can tell this has been a great true to life American experience. I’m essentially responsible for new product development, social media and launch of online campaigns.  Since I’m the only foreigner working at the corporate office, this experience has been a real challenge and is helping me grow as a professional.

How did you find this job and how long did it take? (i.e. What methods did you use to conduct your job search? Which were the most effective? Least effective?)

Even before getting my work permit which took about 2 months, I start looking for jobs. I tried not to be too narrow on my search as I knew I was in disadvantage comparing with an American native. Unfortunately we all know companies try to invest on their employees to keep them as long as possible and for non residents this may be the biggest obstacle. Here we are temporary employees waiting for someone to give us a chance to prove what we professionally capable of. From my experience applying to offers through recruiting agencies was more effective than directly to the companies. Surprisingly it wasn’t me finding the job but the recruiting agency finding my resume online.  It took me over 2 months to find this job. Besides applying for existing offers, I also did spontaneous applications. It is important to adapt your CV to the standard resume. Talking with career centers or even asking American friends/colleagues for advice will help you get your resume done.

What is one thing that you wish you had known at the beginning of your job search that you know now?

Now I understand how important it is to mention you’re authorized to work in the USA on your resume to keep you on the candidate’s selection, since it’s very unlikely that a company will sponsor a working visa.

Given that you’re from another country and didn’t have American work experience, how were you able to sell yourself to your employer and get hired?

Essentially you have to be honest and try to best communicate your international experience. It took me lot of interviews to gain experience and confidence on myself so I was able to mention the highlights from my previous experiences. It takes time for us to understand how things work so you better go to as many interviews as you can even if they don’t perfectly match with your profile.  Additionally, here interviewees perform in a very different way – you have to be really self confident on your statements. Takes a lot of work even more when you’re not used to act like that but that’s how it works here.  Having worked with other international companies around the world (including USA) had helped me on my application. At the end it wasn’t the first time I was contacting with this market. 

What have you learned about the American workplace from your experience at your job?

Here I found a more organized, responsible and proactive environment when compared with the European companies I’ve worked for. It’s also a very competitive workplace, even internally, which motivates you give your best. There’s no time to stop – time is money! A quick lunch or even a meeting/lunch is quite common and help you keep moving. Also there’s a great sense of punctuality so you better watch the clock.

In order for you to be successful in your organization, what is necessary? (i.e. what qualities/skills does your employer value?)

In my case you need lot of good communication skills to be able to present your proposals and convince your colleagues of a great idea. A lot of planning, proactivity, attention to detail and organization mixed with politeness are also very important skills for my position.

What advice would you give to other spouses who are looking for employment in the U.S.?

Immediately apply for the work permit and start looking for jobs when you get to USA as it may take longer than expected, post your resume in LinkedIn as well as the different job search websites as Monster or Career Building, let people know you’re actively looking for a job and organize yourself with a daily plan for your job search. If you try hard, one day you’ll make it.

Yvonne, Dx, Zeena, Xiaochen and Claudia had fun bagging huge heads of cabbage!

When I decided to move to America to be next to my husband, one of my priorities was to get involved in many activities ASAP.  That is when I thought of volunteering for community services, and found out that, fortunately, the Bay Area provides a lot of possibilities and organizations specialized in this matter. So when Yvonne Lefort posted on Facebook about a community service opportunity at the Alameda County Food Bank, I did not think about it twice and decided to participate.

The Alameda County Community Food Bank distributes food to thousands of people through nonprofits agencies. Our task was to prepare the vegetables for their distribution. 

Together with other spouses of the “Creating a Fulfilling life in America” program and Yvonne, we met at downtown Berkeley to head towards the food bank in Oakland. I think we all were very excited about this experience.

When we arrived at the location, the first thing we observed was a huge warehouse with aisles of fresh fruit, veggies and non-perishable food. Given the large amount of food in this place, we realized the hard work that the volunteers were doing in this place and that some help was needed.  The work environment was really nice, the people were very friendly, and they also played good music, so everybody was in good mood while working.

The community service is a very rewarding experience because we didn’t just help the needy people, but also we had a good time meeting the volunteers of this organization that provides nutritious food and nutrition education to the people in need. The work of these people is just admirable. I hope to come back sometime soon. 

Claudia

Anamika Jha and her husband Pankaj on their wedding day

Anamika Jha and her husband, Pankaj, live in Berkeley, California while Pankaj pursues graduate studies at UC Berkeley. In this interview, Anamika talks about her arranged marriage. 

What is the process of arranged marriage in India?

In general in arranged marriages in India, the families involved should like each other along with the boy and the girl. While discussing the marriage proposal, the involved families exchange information about each other’s family. If families involved want to exchange some sort of gift from the girl’s family, they would talk about it also. When each family has satisfied the requirement of the other family, they would go further to decide the date of engagement and/or marriage.

How did you meet your husband?

Through one of our family friends, my family came to know about Pankaj (now my husband) and his family. At that point he was pursuing his Ph.D in USA and I was working in Mumbai, India. My family and his family too exchanged information about each other’s family background and also our pictures. My family and I liked Pankaj and his family and they liked me and my family. When Pankaj came to India during his winter break, both families decided to meet with each other and also to see Pankaj and me. This was the first time we met and talked with each other for some time.

What made you decide to use this method of finding your husband?

Coming from a Brahmin family, I was always aware that my family would like me to have an arranged marriage. Also I have always observed my family member doing the best possible thing for me. So I always believed in my parents for my marriage, that they would select the right guy for me and they would certainly take my consent for my marriage. It turns out to be true.

How did your relationship develop?

My husband and I, we both liked each other because of what we were as an individual. After getting married our effort was to be a friend first and know each other better each day. Initially we had a little difficulty living together as we were not aware about each other’s mindset on many topics. Slowly we have developed a good friendship. Our fondness for each other has grown. Today our each day is better than our last day. Now our effort is to make our marriage more meaningful and purposeful.

In your opinion, what makes for a good marriage?

I believe that it is true appreciation for each other, believing in each other, giving respect and space to each other, being support for each other, being thankful to each other and both partners should have patience and should give hundred percent to marriage in term of commitment and responsibility which makes a good and successful marriage.

What is your personal opinion about arranged marriage?

Arranged marriage gives a newlywed couple a sense of security and satisfaction. They start a new life with appreciation and acceptance.

Would you recommend arranged marriage to your children?

I don’t think for me there is a “yes” or “no” answer for this question. I will recommend our children not to get married too early and wait for it until they know themselves nicely. I would be equally happy if they take the responsibility of finding their life partner themselves or they want us to help them in their search.

I still vividly remember the moment that the doctor said “it’s a girl!” Then I was holding my tiny little baby with very confused feeling of amazement, worry and tiredness (of course I stayed up night and spent 12 exhausted hours of laboring). By the time my mom was on the way flying from Korea, I couldn’t finish my master thesis yet and my husband was scheduling to make a business trip to South Pole for his research in a few months later. The afternoon that I delivered my first baby at hospital in a small town in Pennsylvania, I felt like I am somewhat connected to this country and everything seems so strange to me at the same time.

Susan Ha with her husband and daughter!

Four years ago, my lovely girl was born in the middle of such a mixed up and I have become a mom. Having a baby was on a totally different page of my life throughout marriage, living in foreign country as well as my own values and identities. I need to start building up my new identity ‘as a mom’ from the beginning like when I had arrived in U. S. first time. It was more challenging than defining just myself, because my baby always needed my help even though I cannot get some help for myself sometimes. My baby was always in the center of my daily living, in my mind and even in my unconscious. The more I spent time to take care of her, the more depressed I became and it seemed forever for me to keep loosing myself. In the mean time, our family moved to berkeley and we started over in a new place.

Whole new environment gave me a refreshing idea and challenges altogether. Finally I have started a book club, tutor students in mathematic with Yvonne’s advice and I make new friends through my daughter’s friends. These days, my 4-year-old girl sings a song “Rudolf the red nosed reindeer” learned from her preschool and she dressed up as a fairy princess on last Halloween’s day. Raising a kid provides me a chance to recall my childhood and to picture of future of child.Then I get to think about objective issues such as human being, life or world.

I still complain about the poor public transportation, expensive education and medical bills, but I know I can have quality family time here and nice memory of traveling, instead. Soon I realize that my life becomes richer and more meaningful as parenting. I am growing together with my kids and I am picturing my family with my second baby who is on the way now.

Susan

Sole Consoli with her
husband Raffaele Saggio

Living a life experience in the States has always been a dream for both my husband and me. However, when the time comes, it’s hard to say goodbye to people you love. It’s hard to put your life in a bag and leave your previous time behind you. But you do it because you keep hanging on to hope and to that rational part inside of you that says you are going to live a fabulous experience soon. And so it was! At least for me.

I moved to Berkeley almost 6 months ago with a luggage only. I hadn’t a place to live, I hadn’t a place to work, no friends, no points of reference. Nothing. But today I look at myself and I can see that many things have changed. I’ve found an apartment, a job and new friends. I wake up every morning and I’m happy.

Things started to change for me when I realized that I had to stop thinking about my previous life in my country as the only one suitable for me and started to look at the present life in an active and energetic way. I’ve been lucky to find a job very soon. I came into America with a J2 visa and I applied for a work authorization. However, time for bureaucracy at the immigration office is very slow and I’m still waiting for it. But at that time I wanted to look for something anyway. I couldn’t see myself as an accompanying spouse anymore but I wanted to recreate my own routine. So after many weeks of researching, I finally found “the perfect job”. I found this nice and very familiar Italian language school that was looking for teachers. I prepared a resume (in the American style!) and I decided to go to the school to introduce myself. It didn’t take much time to let the headmaster think about it and welcome me in. I was the happiest person in the world. I remember that day printed in my memory as a new beginning of my American life. And so it was. Few weeks later another Italian school contacted me. This time it was an Italian kindergarten located in North Beach, San Francisco. So, I started to work there too, as a part time job.

However, the biggest improvement in my new life wasn’t about my job. It was about my friends. Meeting Yvonne and attending her course for partners and spouses here in Berkeley was amazing. I was able to find new friends to share my experience with, new friends to have fun with and new friends to live fantastic adventures together. Everyday I wake up and I feel blessed for all of that. For this reason I really hope that sharing my experience with the new Berkeley wives could help them to find the hope and the bravery at the beginning of their journey. Because sooner or later we are all able to find ourselves here, creating the so-called “fulfilling life in America”.

Takako Fukasawa with Kota Fukasawa
in Los Angeles :)

My very first memory from childhood is of seeing the Statue of Liberty from a ferry, glorious and divine. I was three years old. My family and I had just moved from Japan to a small suburban town in Connecticut accompanying my father’s job transfer. I suppose we had visited New York City over the weekend. The next four years are full of warm and radiant memories of my friends and their moms, my ESL teachers, our neighbors, of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We were taught bits and pieces of American history at school; of its independence and the gradual assimilation of its immigrants. My family and I encountered charitable considerations at every turn. Within four years, I had perceived U.S. as a country of equality, liberty and hope, exactly what the Statue of Liberty seemed to symbolize. My family and I stayed in the U.S. once again when I was 11 to 13, this time in the suburbs of Chicago. The population was even more diverse, in terms of religion, ethnicity and social class. Sure, there were conflicts and tensions, but there was a place and also hope for everyone.

I always felt an obligation to give something back to society in return for all the welcome that I had received in the U.S. Upon returning to Japan, I noticed that Japanese society was an extremely difficult place for foreign residents to acculturate to. More than anything, it is an extremely homogeneous society (foreign residents only constitute 1.6% of the population). Partially because of this, English education in Japanese schools is extremely bleak and does not enhance fluency, making the society practically monolingual. In addition, traditionally, everyone is expected to think and act the same way, therefore there are many unspoken and unwritten customs. Despite the fact that Japan is a rapidly aging society and desperately in need of younger and talented personnel from outside the country to boost its global presence, the society as a whole does not offer the necessary services and systems to overcome all these difficulties and accommodate foreign residents. I wanted to help develop cross cultural understanding in Japan and construct a support system for foreign residents. Once I entered University, I participated in non-profit activities to support foreign students adjust to Japan during their short-term stays. However, as the years went by, I got caught up in all the trivial but urgent matters that needed tending in order to secure my everyday life and career path in a corporation. During these years of confusion and hectivity, the vision I had once embraced seemed almost unreachable, and had all but diminished.

After 15 years, I was back in the U.S., this time tagging behind my husband. Berkeley was a country of its own. Once again, I was a stranger struggling in a new place, this time with no occupation other than “a housewife”, experiencing cultural and transitional shock. Taking Yvonne’s classes not only steered me towards recovery, but also helped me rediscover my goals and reset my life. Everything is finally beginning to make sense. I realize now that I still want to achieve my long-term goal of building a more foreign resident friendly community in my home country, especially for women and children who have less contact with the society. In the short-term I am preparing myself to become slightly marketable in the intercultural communication field in Japan, by taking training courses for teaching ESL to adults and also for translating. I am also participating in a volunteer consulting project (“pro bono”) for a local non-profit organization, in the hopes of applying my business skills effectively to management of non-profit/social sector programs. And of course, there is much to gain from meeting people from all over the world and hearing wonder things about their cultures. Berkeley is just about the best place to be to meet people with different backgrounds and values!

Finally, I am forever grateful to my friends, mentors, and teachers, both present and past, who have motivated me to create a fulfilling life in America thus far, and I truly hope that someday soon I will see more creations of fulfilling lives across the ocean in my own country.

Yvonne Lefort during her workshop with the spouses
of international students and visiting scholars
at International House in Berkeley

Three months in Berkeley/Albany and I have this feeling of happiness. That is great to feel. My family and I have got a nice start here – this year we have been planning for almost one year back home in Norway.

Shortly after we arrived there was an information meeting at CAL for visiting scholars and their families. There, Sam Castaneda talked about the work they do for families of international students/researchers. He said: “The research will be bad if the wife is unhappy”. At the same meeting Yvonne Lefort was telling about the course “Creating A Fulfilling Life in America.” The course is once a week for 10 weeks and every week we have a nice lunch. Only the first 25 persons asking for enrollment get the possibility to join. The university supports this course financially.

Workshop participants carve a pumpkin
during the Halloween week

Now I have been in this course for 7 weeks and I want to tell about my experiences. The course makes a difference in my life here, it makes a difference for other people and I guess later, in my life in Norway. It accumulates action and energy. And I hope – a difference in the quality of the research of my husband. The wife is happy.  :-)

Yvonne Lefort is a qualified coach with skills, a good heart, interest in cultural topics, knowledge of networking, and she makes a great effort for us also in her spare time. She challenges us and makes us take risks in communication with each other. You learn that if you want something, you have to take the initiative.

The group eats out at a Chinese resturant

 First we got to know each other and made friends. I met women (just one man) from different countries: 8 European countries, 4 South American countries, 5 Asian countries and of course Yvonne from California. It made me understand how small my country is and how little knowledge I have about other parts of the world. We meet each other open-minded, asking and learning about cultures/experiences. We get tools to manage the life in America in a very simple way. You don’t narrow your perspective inside this group. We learn why Americans act like they do, which seems very mysterious for us sometimes. I like this sentence: “Always think that people have a good reason for their behavior; look for it.” I think this is very important when you live in a foreign country where values, religion, roles are different from yours. This is a heterogeneous group, people have different needs, they are in different situations and the group is helpful in different ways.

Bonding over history: Girls having fun
during Oakland museum trip

 Things happened inside the group. After a few meetings we had friends, a cooking class, Facebook group, a Friday meeting at a café with cultural discussion topics and this blog. As a member of the group I get a lot of information about what happens in the Bay Area.

Yvonne’s students volunteer at
soup kitchen on Halloween

But what makes me most impressed is what we learned about volunteer work. We have learned about the American volunteering practice, how to find work where you have skills, where you can get skills or where you can have fun. Yvonne went with us to Glide Memorial Church; nine people from the group helped serving lunch to people needing food. This was both interesting and fun, and we want to do more. We are a group of women with skills and spare time who wants to fulfill our life in America.

This society has welcomed us and the group gives skills and shows possibilities to give something back. It really makes ripples in water. Thank you CAL.

Doris Brauten

Paula (first left, white top) during Creating a Fulfilling Life in America workshop.

Hello everyone!! We are starting to blog! Yay!

I hope this can be really fun for all of us! I assume that writing this first post was a little frightening for me… What subject to choose? We are living such different situations; it isn’t that easy to decide which one I should share with you…

So here I am with a special subject that comes along with me since the last two years: my baby. I mean, for the rest of the world, he is already a toddler. For me (and thanks to a couple of brands that also considers the age group 0 to 36 months as a baby), he is still my BABY. As you can notice from this description, he is our first child.

We are Brazilians. In 2011 my husband thought it was a good time to take a break from his job in Brazil and to move abroad for a year. We are teachers and it wasn’t that hard to take a license from the universities we are attached with there and join here as visiting scholars.

When we arrived in Washington DC, in January of 2012, Mateus, the baby, couldn’t speak a lot of words in Portuguese… so we thought that he could easily develop the English as a second language. However, at that time of the year we didn’t find any places in the childcare centers close to our new home.

Then we hired a baby sitter. In fact, the third that we hired was okay (in 4 months we had three different experiences).

As we had to go the university, Mateus used to spend his afternoons with the sweet lady from Colombia. And we just loved it!

In a while, we realized that the baby was a sort of confused; parents speaking in Portuguese and some words of English, baby sitter in Spanish, TV and little friends in English… Hard to understand this world!

After 8 months living in Arlington, Virginia, we moved to Berkeley, California. The first question to help us on taking the decision of a childcare for Mateus was: Does he need a childcare? From his stage of socialization, we thought it would be very helpful.

Yes, we could just keep him at home and maybe hire again a baby sitter to help us here and there… But as he was turning 2, we felt that, first; his social life and communication skills could be better developed if he had the opportunity of interacting daily with other children of his age.

Second, we will be in Berkeley only for a few months, so seeking for play dates and similar isolated activities could not be that efficient for our purpose – starting an improvement in Mateus’ socialization.

On the other hand (certainly there are the disadvantages); he would be away from home for a long period of time (at least for us).

We kept the idea of the Childcare Center.

UC Berkeley has a childcare Center for the staff’s children. But there are very few places and we couldn’t apply anymore for this year. So I went to Google to look for some childcare centers lists and the best one I found was at Berkeley Parents Network website.

To be honest, the website needs a serious update, but it helps. I need to write down my experience at the Childcare, for example  :-)

From the information I got there and on Google, I called some 15 childcare centers and finally I found a place in a Childcare Center, 4 blocks away from the house we were renting.

Our principal criteria of selection were:

- It should be close to our new home;

- Their method should be, at least, similar to the Montessori one, which I think is a very complete system of education for the first years in school.

Mateus is very outgoing happy child, always smiling at everyone, friendly… So his adjustment time at school would be easy. …… NOT.

It was just a nightmare. At least for me. The boy just didn’t want to leave our arms, legs, us! Do you know everything we read on magazines/books/internet and people tell you about tantrums, drama, screams, etc? It just started to happen with us! Why? Are we spoiling him? Does he need more/less attention?

When it is happening, the drama may lead you to a surreal and irrational state: You cannot think because the little human being of yours is screaming and you just can’t hear or understand your own thoughts.

After a while (maybe when the child is sleeping…) you realize that there is always a reason for this “out of control” behavior. And it is up to you (sometimes with the help of someone else – teachers, friends, psychologist) to identify it and think about the best ways of dealing with the situations.

The adjustment phase was hard. The staff at the Childcare Center is great and patient. He is doing better, but there is still some drama.

As parents we usually hear: ‘it is just a phase, you are going trough it, you will see’.

And it is true.

The children are really in a constant development. It might be one of our challenges as parents: adjust ourselves to the child’s phases.

Do not forget to live and enjoy your own “phase”, though. We are in a beautiful country, with a LOT to know, to see, to visit.

Hope you all really have a great time here.

Thanks for your patience.
Paula LS Varella